Derek whats wrong with your face?
Is that a rash?
Have you had an accident?
Are you allergic to something?
Have you been in the sun too long?
I’ve had all the questions you can imagine, some curious, some very insulting, and some so stupid, I feel like giving them a smack in their face!
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
Ever looked in the mirror and didn’t like what you saw reflecting back?
Well that was me. But the reality I have come to live with is that the reflection I see is not so bad.
It’s who I am.
Most of you reading this will dislike something about your appearance. Mibby you’ve acne, or mibby something about you physically appearance you hate.
Something’s can’t be changed. My birthmark is one of those things. I’ve had laser treatment. It failed.
For me that was a devastating blow in my life. As a kid, having that hope taken from me was brutal.
I always felt different as a kid. Not normal, and probably because that’s exactly how I was treated. Is it any wonder, that I was insecure and lacked confidence.
As a young adult I was depressed, a complete mess, drank too much when out, got into fights, and all that shit stuff that i’m not proud of.
Let me tell you, I hated myself like you wouldn’t believe, feeling I’d be better dead!
Bring us to the present day
Today, I was with a friend who kindly accommodated me at her families home whilst I travelled to Thailand.
The village is located in a remote village north of Bangkok. Stunningly beautiful with smiling faces and incredible nature.
My friend said to me “come see my cousin he has a face like yours”. I didn’t really know what to say.
Was this entertainment? Like a freak show. That was my feeling at the time.
Truth was just like most people. It’s just curiousness. No bad intentions. So I was ok with it.
Then I met him. 15 years old and bigger than me, with a birthmark on half his face also.
It was like looking back in time. This young man was shy, turning his face away, not making eye contact and just didn’t feel comfortable.
All things that I could relate to, and totally understood.
I just wanted to speak to him, tell him to hold your head up high and go take on the world.
Even though we are from different cultures and speak different languages, our bodies don’t hide our feelings.
I don’t think me or him appreciate the assertive nature of my friend wanting us to get a photo together.
Like I said before no problem with it. I get the different cultures, I respect them. But neither of us were up for it.
Anyway we took a pic, me the boy and grandma.
Do I still think about my looks?
Does it bother me like it did when I was younger?
However if it could be removed tomorrow, I’d be happy.
Society is a proper bastard at times.
Big brands, TV, the internet and celebrities all push their views and agendas on you at every turn.
Is it any wonder that people are unhappy or insecure about their appearance.
People in the west want to be brown, hitting the sun when they can.
People in the East (Asia) want to be white. By avoiding the sun and using whiting creams.
No one is ever bloody happy.
Could you imagine a world full of people that didn’t judge you on appearance or the material things you have. It would probably be a lot more positive and happy, right?
So if you are one of these people that judge others on appearance, stop and consider how that makes that person feel.
Why not give that person a compliment, it will likely make their day.
I think most people, have that kind heart inside them. It’s just how they have typically been treated in life that makes them negative or unkind.
SO go make someone smile today, that’s normally miserable or unhappy.
Speak to that person in the office that never normally speaks.
Give some food or just your time to a homeless person.
Be that kind person today.
My life has not been all bad
I think if I hadn’t been born with my birthmark, I may not have had the same tenacious, can do, take on the world attitude. I feel lucky for that. It has enabled me to achieve so much!
Suffering throughout my life, I have gained strength, strength that I feel makes me unlike most. I give everything I do 100% because I hate not succeeding.
YOU too have likely suffered, but let me tell you something, you have have what it takes inside you, to live your dreams.
Keep it real wherever you are
And thanks for reading.
P.S please comment below, and tell me if this helped.